Catch Me If You Can!

By Vince Alexander

            My students know. I still tell this story in my classroom when I discuss discipline.

            As a kid, I was your typical hard-headed, mischievous boy. I was told that I had a temper. One day, I had gotten into trouble, and my mother was about to spank me with the only thing that would make me change my evil ways: an extension cord.

            But I had a plan; I would run!

            I ran with her in hot pursuit. She had big curlers in her hair and slippers on, but that woman ran, too. I ran through the living room, out the back door, around the apricot trees, and around the rose garden. Then I saw my friends—and I figured I didn’t want them to see me get a whuppin, so I went back inside and took my beating.

            I even remember what I said:

            “Momma!

            “OK momma! OK momma! I won’t do it again!”

            That was in the ‘60s. That’s how my brother and I got punished when we acted a fool.

            That couldn’t happen today. Just ask Adrian Peterson, the All-Pro runningback of the Minnesota Vikings. He allegedly spanked one of his sons with a switch from a tree—and now he is charged with a crime, putting his illustrious career in jeopardy.

However, I understand.  Peterson is from the South, and that’s how he was punished. That’s how a lot of my black friends were punished.

By the way, my mom and father are from Alabama; that’s as country-southern as you can get.

Today, it’s funny to me. I would hear young parents talking about how they have punished their children with a timeout, a banishment to their rooms, or a removal of a toy—and I’d laugh.

            That’s why many kids are in trouble today. They would get into trouble—and laugh at their parents’ form of disciple.

            You’ve heard them.

            “I don’t care. Call my momma!

            “So!”

            “Whatever!”

            That kind of defiance didn’t happen prior to the ‘70s.

            You could even see it in popular African-American TV shows. Remember Good Times with Thelma and JJ? If so, I’m sure you remember their father—James. It didn’t take a lot of inferring to know that James swung a mean belt.

            As a dad—I did too.

            Oh, did I mention that I’m a Baptist.  And I was taught through the church that if you “spared the rod—you spoil the child.”

Back in the day, we called it, “Putting the fear of God” in our children. Yup, for a long time, I was scared of my parents.

Today, I see the results. My brother and I are home owners, and we are the only people in our immediate family with a master’s degree hanging on the wall.

As for the welts I received from my parents, it was done so that society wouldn’t have to lock me up. It was done because they loved me.

That’s why I have never been incarcerated. When I was bad, my parents took care of it so that society wouldn’t have to.

And today—my stories of spankings are great teachable moments.